The Rundown

12:01 AM ~ Cleaning up vomit is never a great way to start the day. ohhh nooo. especially when you are supposed to be "getting away" at Big Cedar Lodge. (Kim and I decided to take a little three day trip to break up the time with our husbands out of town til Christmas Eve.) The fun continued until 3AM as Luke coughed, sneezed, had a nightmare I was unable to wake him up from, ran a fever, threw up more, and yodeled. Yes, he yodeled in his sleep. That did give me a little smile. At 3AM, he calmed down enough to allow us to sleep, if fitfully. I started the day exhausted already.

7:45 AM ~ Waking up to the reality of the day was tough for me. I felt like I had a Lifetime movie playing in my head as I watched scenes of my Granny through all stages of my life. I saw Granny reach for the Hostess cupcakes on top of her refrigerator to give me as a five year old having a slumber party at her house. I saw her pulling potatoes and carrots from her garden she and my grandpa planted on our farm. I listened to her teaching me to quilt. I saw her smile a thousand times. All these are memories to treasure, but today they just hurt.

8:00 AM ~ Messages start coming in. Texts, phone calls (one from Louisiana!), Facebook

messages, emails, blog comments. I thanked God for digital communication today. All communication treasured, all helping me move forward. ThAnK yOu!!!

9:30 AM ~ Packed the car alone. Felt lonely for Tom and my mom and sister as I got everything together on a blustery morning in Missouri. I try not to complain how much I miss my husband, because you just kind of have to steel yourself to that, but there is a hole in my heart that can't be patched until he comes back to us.

10AM ~ I had nothing but time as I drove back home from Big Cedar, listening to Luke cough like a crazy man and think about my granny. Headache. At least there was no vomit. Just a whole lot of phlegm and snot and coughing. Did I mention the coughing? And Did I mention how good my kids were in the car? I think the personal 10 inch TV's had something to do with that, but still.

3PM ~ Finally, after what seemed an eternity of driving, I saw my granny at the hospital. I thought she would be unresponsive, but I found that she was no less amazing than any other time I've been around her lately. Though she obviously is growing painfully weaker with each moment, she greeted each grandchild with pure delight from her bed. Her left arm is broken, but with her right she reached up to touch each one's face, ending the conversation with a slurred "I looooovvvvveee youuuuuuuu." Her resolve to show love is stunning.

4:30PM ~ Picked up Wilson from the vet. Who doesn't feel a little better at the sight of a dog who thinks you are the best person ever.

5:30 PM ~ Brought my cousin's kids to the house so she could spend more time at the hospital with granny. She lives out of town and I know that it's been hard on her to be far away during this time. Yes, I wanted to be there tonight with everyone, but I'm really glad that Heather got a few more precious moments with our inspiration.

6:00 PM ~ Picked up burgers for all 5 kids. Luke hasn't eaten much today, but requested coleslaw. Just the smell of it makes me sick, but for Lukey I guess it's a healing food. Cause he ate all of it. And weirdly, he's better now.7:30 PM ~ Opened a slew a Christmas cards, just love em, each and everyone. Mine are being mailed tomorrow, really they are coming to a mailbox near you.

7:45 PM ~ Gasped when I saw a preview for this show on Nick Teen. Really? I. had. no. idea. TV off. Out comes the board games.
8:40 PM ~ Listened to my beloved Golden Eagles lose their game by a couple points. Ugh. Never a good way to end the day. Ever. I feel for my hubby, my bro-in-law, and the players. And the coaches wives. Ouch.
9:30 PM ~ Made a new ending to the day by reading Christmas books with the kids. They each picked out one. Though I could barely keep my eyes focused on the words, the kids settled into it and we even sang through "The Little Drummer Boy" together. I like this ending better.

11:42 PM ~ Not sure where that 2 hours and 12 minutes went, but that is the rundown. I am feeling run down but lifted up. I am reminded of Max Lucado's book Everyday Deserves a Chance. He points out the verse "This is the day that the Lord has made" refers to all days, not just the ones we liked. Sick days, sad days, losing days, and dying days. They are all still days that He has made, and I worship Him for it.