Friday, January 05, 2007

More Kids' Quips...

  • Luke: When you put your finger up to say I'm number one, I understand what that means now. You're putting your finger up to God and pointing at Him and saying it's because of Him.

  • Ellie: Do you think the tooth fairy would consider an itunes gift card intead of cash?

  • Ellie: We have been studying Albert Einstein at school, and I have to tell you something. He's been quite a disappointment.

  • Ellie: I do NOT do spicy toothpaste.

  • Luke: If I were a dog, I would fight for freedom to eat anything I wanted.

  • I was trying to explain to the kids that I really try to be a good mom... it's important to me. So Luke reassured me... "MOM, you are the perfect mom! You may not be the BEST mom in the world, but you are the perfect mom for us!"

  • Ellie: I do not understand WHY they call it a "blanket" of snow? It's not warm AT ALL!

  • Ellie: When is our next dentist appointment? (continuing without hesitation) cause I am noooot going!

  • Ellie: (as we were walking out of Target with a full basket): I wish that Target didn't have sooo much cute stuff!

  • Ellie: (as she was playing a game of Solitaire) "I can feel the cranks in my brain cranking."

  • Anonymous: I just pooped, and my turd was shaped like Africa!

  • Luke: Why don't they just play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" instead of having these long drawn out election campaigns?

  • Ellie: I will never climb Mt. Everest and here's why... if I got scared, I would start crying and then the tears would freeze my eyes shut and I would lose my way. That would not be a good situation.

  • Luke: Is there such a thing as a twelve dollar bill?

  • Ellie: Mom, why do you drink soooo much green tea? Me: (thinking I REALLY do love green tea; I probably drink 10 glasses of it a day): Ummmmm...... Luke: Because she is addicted! Her green tea is like cigarettes! She just can't stop!
  • Luke (to a friend): Do you know what puppies do? Three things. Eat, sleep and poop.

  • Me: (to Luke while making a huge effort to get his room organized): I see a light at the end of the tunnel! Luke: What? I don't see a tunnel. We are in my room!

  • Kami: (talking about a Vera Bradley pattern that has been retired): I loved that pattern and am so sad that they fired it.
  • Luke: I just figured out something... that pants and a belt work together. A belt works to hold the pants up and the pants hold the belt on!

  • Ellie: (as we are getting ready to go out on the lake on a pontoon boat): I have a sinking feeling....

  • Kami: (walking in my bathroom as I was getting ready) Mmmm.... it smells good in here.... like FRESH MOMMA!
  • Luke: Mom, when you got in the car, I saw your side of it go waaaay down!

  • Ellie: I wish I could switch my tongue out with a dog's tongue!

  • Luke: Mom, yesterday I read the "B Book" to Daniel at school. And all those B words in that book, they gave me some MAJOR GAS!

  • Ellie: The pot is a good thinking spot.

  • Luke: The kids at school think I am a superhero. They keep coming to me with their problems. I tell them to take them to the teacher, but they don't! They keep coming to me about it!

  • Ellie: I feel sorry for Houdini. Some one punched him in the independence and he died.

  • Ellie: (singing mournfully at the top of her lungs): Why does Love Always Feel Like a Battlefield? Battlefield... Battlefiiiiiiieeeeeld!

  • Luke: Knock Knock. Me: Who's There? Luke: U. Me: U WHO? Luke: I love you more than anyone in the "U"niverse.

  • Luke: Mom, why is that store called Perfect TOUCH if I can't TOUCH anything?

  • Ellie: I wish it would sleet more so I could make a sleetman.

  • Ellie: I'm as tired as a wombat.

  • Luke: Can I please, please, please, pretty please, you are soooo pretty, you are so pretty please play the computer?

  • Ellie: (as we drive up to Barnes and Noble and in a very loving tone): Ahhh, this place could be my HOME!

  • Luke: If there is something in the world that no one knows, then how does the first person figure it out?

  • Luke: Hey mom, I can play a song on my bottom. Wanna hear?

  • Ellie: (after listening to me vent on the phone to a friend about my current disappointment): Mom, you just like to let your feelings FLOW. I mean, you just let them out. (thinking a minute more). Your feelings are kind of like GAS. When they get all backed up, you just have to let them out. Me: (wistful) You nailed me, Ellie. You got me.

  • Ellie: If my room were made of cream cheese, I would have munched down every bite of it. And then I would have started on Kami's.

  • Ellie (stepping on leaves): I just looooooove the sound of leaves crunching under my feet!!!

  • Ellie: Mom, for my birthday, I'd like a paper shredder. Me: Why? Ellie: So when I get older and break up with my boyfriends, I can shred their pictures.

  • Ellie: (discussing fruit) There is one reason I really like the peach. That is because when you get down to the pit of the peach, you take it out and clean it up and, that peach pit, it looks exactly like a Rose Rock.

  • Ellie is staring at me intently as I am getting dressed in the morning, so I ask, "Ellie, what are you looking at?" She responds, "just checking to see if you have any chest hair."

  • Luke: Hey, mom... back when they had horses that pulled cars... was there a speed limit?

  • Luke: Mom, can people talk with their mouths about one thing and think with their brains about something else, all at the same time? Me: (trying it) I don't think so. That's really hard to do. Luke: Well, I can do it. I just said something and thunk something else.

  • Luke: Mom, people must lose things in Las Vegas. Me: (surprised) Yes, they do! How did you know? Luke: Cuz it's called LOSS Vegas!

  • Ellie: (while watching a National Geographic special on how the ancients ground large rocks down to make perfectly sized bricks): I bet that took some elbow grease!

  • Me: (while at Academy picking out athetic shorts) - Hey Ellie, do you like these RED shorts? Ellie: No way!!!! .... they're too..... OUish.

  • Luke: I have a girlfriend at church and her name is Jayden. Her hair smells like bubbles. I love bubbles. (has a dreamy look on his face).

  • Ellie: (while watching the fireworks on the 4th of July): Do you know why there are no lightning bugs lighting up right now? They are jealous of the beautiful fireworks!

  • Ellie: I think a hippopotamus should be called a hippoBOTTOMus. Their bottoms are just SO big!!!

  • Luke: (after dripping ice cream on his shoe): Can I lick my shoe?

  • Ellie: (gagging after eating a bite of turkey bacon) ICK!!! I think I got the turkey's eyeball!!!!

  • Ellie: Mom, I'm Glad you don't work at Walmart. Me: Why? Ellie: You'd be gone ALL the time. That place is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! I'd rather live in a car or on the streets than have you gone all the time.

  • Luke: Dad, I can't sleep. I keep thinking of new inventions.

  • Luke: I think when you watch a bad show, it makes you gooder. Like Emma... she's really a good girl... and guess what? She watches Sponge Bob. So it must be making her even gooder. Can I try that mom?

  • Ellie: It doesn't matter if your husband has warts all over his face, as long as you're happy. Right mom?

  • Ellie: Green is an attractive color. I know that because I wore green today and everyone was looking at me.

  • Ellie: (Struggling to get on her soccer cleats) Mom, do you think that Mia Hamm had this much trouble getting on her cleats?

  • Luke: Do Smarties make you smart?

  • Ellie: I'm not trying to rat Kami out or anything .... but......

  • Luke: What is Jesus' middle name? And what is his last name?

  • Ellie: Mom and Dad are the biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig kahuna!!!

  • Ellie: Mom, has anyone ever come into your life who is just like you. To the point where that person overtakes you and becomes you? There is a boy in my class who has become ME!

  • Ellie: I don't like living in a dead end. Me: WHY? Ellie: Because, it just sounds so sad! Dead. End. The sound of it is just awful.

  • Ellie: I just get so sad when the snow melts away. I hate saying goodbye to it... because it will be so long until I see it again. A year... or more!

  • Ellie: I think about animals that most people don't think about. I think about the platypus and the scissortail flycatcher. I think about the groundhog and the lemur. Most people think about zebras and lions. Not me. I think about the less thought about animals.

  • Kami: (proudly) I will be in the Freshman Academy the next time we get a new president. Me: gulp.

  • Ellie: Do you think Luke will go bald when he gets older?

  • Ellie: You know those chicken underwear I bought for dad for Christmas? (disgustedly) Those were a ripoff.

  • Ellie: If I ever get put in prision, I will definitely not try to escape. If you get caught, they put you back in prison for a longer time.

  • Ellie: Before God makes you, does he make a little model of you in heaven?

  • Luke: (waiting in the car line at Taco Bueno) This is NOT fast food. This is UN-fast food.

  • Elllie: A Beauty is quite Beautiful but a Booty is not a beauty.

  • Luke: I know how to spell pee! P-E-E! And I know how to spell pee pee. P-E-E P-E-E!!!

  • Ellie: I'm afraid to take a bath because I'm scared that a shark will come through the faucet and bite my head off. Or that a jellyfish may come through the pipes and get me with his technicals.

  • Luke: Secret Agents don't sleep with silkies.

  • Luke: Sometimes I pee on the wall.

5 Wonderful Responses:

mollym said...

o my goodness. luke and his halarious comments. could make me laugh all day

Tracey said...

Thank you for the kid quips! My coworker used to keep a journal of all the funny stuff that her kids (and sometimes mine) would say while in our classroom... hilarious and works great to perk you up when you are in a rut!!!!

ellen said...

What a great idea! I'm always calling my mom telling her funnies The Littles have said. And then I kick myself later because I didn't write them down! Totally going to snag this idea...

ellen said...

LOVE the one about Ellie and the animals she thinks about. Too cute!

Tracey said...

Annie, when Ellie is old enough to actually HAVE a boyfriend... please share a secret with her from me... shredders aren't as much fun as tearing the ex's pictures up with her hands... then burning the pieces!!! Not that I would EVER do anything like that... but it sure does feel good to rip up the pictures of the mean guys!!!