Saturday, April 26, 2008

Friday, April 25, 2008

Breather

A Deep Breath of Air. A Moment to Relax. Some Clarity of mind. Some Peace in Amidst the Uncertainty. Some Solace. A bit of a Pity Party. Time away. Introspection. Hurting Heart. Be Still My Mind. God Lead My Thoughts. A Party in San Antonio. Warm Weather. Sleeping In. A Voice in the Wind. Rest. A Friendz Listening Ear. SNAP OUT OF IT! Roller Coaster. God is Good. He Gave me This: The rain is coming down in Bucketfulls. My child needs Markers. It can't wait till tomorrow. We Go. I Trudge. She Frolicks. I Stew. On the Way Out, in a Dark, Rain Pelted Parking Lot, she Twirls. "I am so THANKFUL," she laughs, as the drops drench her pigtails. Looking upward, she says again slowly and with more seriousness, "I am so THANKFUL." I write this one down in my book of memories. Too precious... and humbling too. One day a little later, while Admiring the Azaleas in Woodward with Nana, Papa, and the kids, Dad says offhandedly, "This life went a lot faster than I thought it was going to." Just a little thing. I think he meant nothing by it. But that it really did go by fast. That one made me stop too. And Just Helped the Thunderclouds Slide Away. And then the Dream. I was at Granny's house. It was late.... past midnight. Don't have any idea why I was there that late. Maybe we were having a quilting party. Anyway, I fell asleep on the couch and she on the daybed... a little later I woke up and thought I should go. But instead, I went over to where Granny was sleeping, and I laid down beside her, real close. I cuddled with my Granny. And as I laid there thinking how much I loved her, I looked on the plaster wall, where she had been writing some stuff in red ink. And I realized what I saw were her marking the days of her life... and she was counting the ones she still had to live until she could Go To See What She's Been Waiting For All Her Life. The Streets of Gold. The Pearly Gates. But it wasn't disturbing... the Dream that is. It was Peaceful and Happy. I felt so Close to Her. And then One More Thing... One More Cool Thing.... Teacher Appreciation Week came. I've been working towards it since July 07. And the closer I got to it, the more I realized that it wasn't just Teacher Appreciation, but Staff Appreciation... and with a few of my activities, I had excluded the staff. It began really bothering me. Besides that, I wondered to God if I was spending too much of my precious time on this dumb PTA thing. How could that be the work of Jesus? Well, first of all, the week was truly blessed. Everyone helped. No one forgot! I had exactly the number of volunteers I needed for each activity. It was almost strange how well everything went. And then on Tuesday evening, as I went to pick up the 80 loaves of donated bread for the teachers (not nearly enough for the 208 staff members), I was blindsided by bread. I left Farrell's Organic Bread with enough bread to fill up the back of the Suburban (Zippy) and then some. I have never seen that amount of bread in my life! When the girls and I got home and counted, we counted... get this.. exactly 209 loaves of bread. Enough yeast for everyone. And then one. It was the closest thing to the Manna from Heaven I have ever experienced. I felt like the boy with the fishes and the loaves. It was really awesome... and I know God had a hand in it. He provided. He gave me assurance that I was doing exactly what He wanted me to do. I took a Deep Breath. I am Back.