What a Difference a Day Makes

We never really can lose hope, can we?

Granny was born in Hope, Idaho by a lake called Ponderay. Ida Pondarae probably seemed like a perfect fit to granny's parents, but we always joke that her parents should have used the town as their namesake instead of the lake and the state. Hope just fits her, and has all her life.

Today is no different. Granny inspired hope in us yesterday as we all converged in her tiny hospital room. The news went out that Granny wanted to sing and within a few minutes there gathered no less than 20 family members. We stood around her bed and sang every Christmas Carol we could think of. She sang with us as well she could and in moments of joy, she raised her unbroken right arm to the sky. And then everyone grew silent as granny herself weakly, yet unabashedly, sang "How Great Thou Art."

As usual, Granny gave to each one of in that room yesterday. She just can't stop giving.

She even gave to her doctor, who said she was amazed by Granny's strength.

What is to come? We really don't know, but we all have great hope and faith in God's perfect timing in her life.

Singing with Granny, making Gingerbread houses with family and a win by the Golden Eagles just really kind of made everything better yesterday.

The Rundown

12:01 AM ~ Cleaning up vomit is never a great way to start the day. ohhh nooo. especially when you are supposed to be "getting away" at Big Cedar Lodge. (Kim and I decided to take a little three day trip to break up the time with our husbands out of town til Christmas Eve.) The fun continued until 3AM as Luke coughed, sneezed, had a nightmare I was unable to wake him up from, ran a fever, threw up more, and yodeled. Yes, he yodeled in his sleep. That did give me a little smile. At 3AM, he calmed down enough to allow us to sleep, if fitfully. I started the day exhausted already.

7:45 AM ~ Waking up to the reality of the day was tough for me. I felt like I had a Lifetime movie playing in my head as I watched scenes of my Granny through all stages of my life. I saw Granny reach for the Hostess cupcakes on top of her refrigerator to give me as a five year old having a slumber party at her house. I saw her pulling potatoes and carrots from her garden she and my grandpa planted on our farm. I listened to her teaching me to quilt. I saw her smile a thousand times. All these are memories to treasure, but today they just hurt.

8:00 AM ~ Messages start coming in. Texts, phone calls (one from Louisiana!), Facebook

messages, emails, blog comments. I thanked God for digital communication today. All communication treasured, all helping me move forward. ThAnK yOu!!!

9:30 AM ~ Packed the car alone. Felt lonely for Tom and my mom and sister as I got everything together on a blustery morning in Missouri. I try not to complain how much I miss my husband, because you just kind of have to steel yourself to that, but there is a hole in my heart that can't be patched until he comes back to us.

10AM ~ I had nothing but time as I drove back home from Big Cedar, listening to Luke cough like a crazy man and think about my granny. Headache. At least there was no vomit. Just a whole lot of phlegm and snot and coughing. Did I mention the coughing? And Did I mention how good my kids were in the car? I think the personal 10 inch TV's had something to do with that, but still.

3PM ~ Finally, after what seemed an eternity of driving, I saw my granny at the hospital. I thought she would be unresponsive, but I found that she was no less amazing than any other time I've been around her lately. Though she obviously is growing painfully weaker with each moment, she greeted each grandchild with pure delight from her bed. Her left arm is broken, but with her right she reached up to touch each one's face, ending the conversation with a slurred "I looooovvvvveee youuuuuuuu." Her resolve to show love is stunning.

4:30PM ~ Picked up Wilson from the vet. Who doesn't feel a little better at the sight of a dog who thinks you are the best person ever.

5:30 PM ~ Brought my cousin's kids to the house so she could spend more time at the hospital with granny. She lives out of town and I know that it's been hard on her to be far away during this time. Yes, I wanted to be there tonight with everyone, but I'm really glad that Heather got a few more precious moments with our inspiration.

6:00 PM ~ Picked up burgers for all 5 kids. Luke hasn't eaten much today, but requested coleslaw. Just the smell of it makes me sick, but for Lukey I guess it's a healing food. Cause he ate all of it. And weirdly, he's better now.7:30 PM ~ Opened a slew a Christmas cards, just love em, each and everyone. Mine are being mailed tomorrow, really they are coming to a mailbox near you.

7:45 PM ~ Gasped when I saw a preview for this show on Nick Teen. Really? I. had. no. idea. TV off. Out comes the board games.
8:40 PM ~ Listened to my beloved Golden Eagles lose their game by a couple points. Ugh. Never a good way to end the day. Ever. I feel for my hubby, my bro-in-law, and the players. And the coaches wives. Ouch.
9:30 PM ~ Made a new ending to the day by reading Christmas books with the kids. They each picked out one. Though I could barely keep my eyes focused on the words, the kids settled into it and we even sang through "The Little Drummer Boy" together. I like this ending better.

11:42 PM ~ Not sure where that 2 hours and 12 minutes went, but that is the rundown. I am feeling run down but lifted up. I am reminded of Max Lucado's book Everyday Deserves a Chance. He points out the verse "This is the day that the Lord has made" refers to all days, not just the ones we liked. Sick days, sad days, losing days, and dying days. They are all still days that He has made, and I worship Him for it.

Sicko

Awww.... poor girl....

not fun to be sick this time of year.

104.8 fever, ick!

What a sicko!

Cough Variant Asthma

This is the story of Luke's health struggle the last seven years and how we *think* we have finally found the answer to his problem.

Luke had RSV when he was 9 months old. It didn't require hospitalization, and he recovered quickly. We were relieved about that. But in caution over his "twitchy" lungs and wheezing, we were sent home with a nebulizer and Albuterol to help control "possible asthma."

But no one ever said anything about asthma again.

We heard about allergies (tested with the stick method twice)
We heard about steroids (given them a lot)
We had his tonsils and adenoids removed when he was 3.
We heard about sinus infections (and administered countless antibiotics to him over the years, literally, dozens of rounds and I don't want to THINK about how many x-rays he has had)
We heard about sinus passages, and how sinus surgery was a last resort.
We tried medicine after medicine. Singular, Zyrtec, Albuterol, Alavert. You name it, he tried it.
At one point, he was on 9 different medicines.
That's when I decided to take him off everything.
That didn't work either.
We tried sinus rinses. They helped.
But regardless of all these things, Luke still struggled with this:

RELENTLESS COUGHING, primarily at night. Coughing until he vomited. Coughing so hard blood vessels broke in his face. And there was absolutely no cough medicine that would make a difference. Fresh air, lemon and honey, cough drops, lollipops, they were all mocking us. He lost sleep. His face puffed up. And then we would crawl back like servants to an antibiotic, the only thing that would relieve what we believed were sinus infections. No one really seemed to get it but Tom and I. The helplessness we felt when we heard that first little strum of a cough, the unproductive, tight cough that was a sure sign of a long, long night.

And then, at age 7, our ENT recommended an Infectious Disease doctor. Just in case Luke was dealing with some kind of immunity problem, because after all IT'S NOT NORMAL FOR A KID TO HAVE A CONSTANT REOCURRENCE OF A CONDITION SUCH AS A SINUS INFECTION. I get that now. I get that I should have searched harder and quicker. But Dr. Chang sat and listened for an hour to Luke's health history. I could see his wheels turning. He is one of those people who is smarter than smart, yet personable and warm. After I took Luke for a potty break, we walked back in and Dr. Chang gave me his tentative diagnosis:

Cough Variant Asthma.

People with CVA have no classic symptoms of asthma, such as wheezing or shortness of breath. For that reason, it is a very difficult condition to diagnose.

Here is what I found on "Pediatric Planet" - Some children with a persistent cough have a condition called "cough variant asthma." This means that we believe that the child is coughing because his or her breathing tubes (bronchi) are reacting to irritation by squeezing in to a smaller size, just like in asthma. Children with cough variant asthma do not make the wheezing sound that we usually hear in children with ordinary asthma, though. This can make it difficult to diagnose the condition, and very often children with cough variant asthma have been through a number of other diagnoses or treatments. Parents of children with cough variant asthma usually find that regular cough and cold medicines don’t help their children, and of course antibiotics don’t help either. Cough variant asthma can be a very frustrating condition.

This blog also helped. It helped me to hear the story of another parent who dealt with similar issues.

So, we have been treating Luke's asthma for the last few weeks, and so far, it's like magic. He's doing very well on the Flovent inhaler. And it's such a relief to have a healthy little boy. It's only been a few weeks, so I am a little hesitant to declare it a total cure, but we are very optimistic that we have made some progress by finding out about CVA.