Report Cards are Out

Remember those bumper stickers that say something like "My child is an Honor Student at .... whatever... school" and "My honor student is smarter than your honor student"? Did I dream that? Do people really put things like that on their cars? A google search led me to some other funny bumper stickers and a few really funny ones I wouldn't post on my family blog (my kids are all over it.)

Anyway, I am hoping this post won't be that obnoxious, but it was so cute that I couldn't pass it up.

Yesterday, report cards came home and I asked Kami how she did. She brought it over to me and showed me the results. I was very, very proud of her, but could tell that something was bothering her. "What's wrong?" I asked. She looked down and said quietly, "well, something happened. I didn't get on the Principal's Honor Roll this year. I am on the Janitor's Honor Roll." I didn't understand, so she showed me her certificate. In big black letters, it read "Superintendent's Honor Roll." I think she had heard of a "building superintendent" and got confused with THE "Superintendent of Schools." I assured her that she was on a GREAT honor roll.

So it got me to thinking about a new bumper sticker, "My child is on the Janitor's Honor Roll!"

Why She is the Princess of Hearts (part two)

Sometimes, Ellie cries at things that others don't.

She often notices an emotion in someone else that no one else does.

Occasionally, at night, she'll tell me she can't sleep because "my heart is telling me something."

And when she's happy, well, she's very very happy. Everyone knows it.

She also recognizes that she's different than her family members and wonders why she is the way she is. Well, I for one, understand. I've shared with you my lifelong struggle with my emotions. Unfortunately (and fortunately) I get it.

So what I always tell her is that she has a big heart. It's so big, I explain, that it has a bigger chance of getting touched, feeling pain and experiencing joy than someone else might. It's why I call her the Princess of Hearts.

The Princess of Hearts touches my heart every week (read here for a previous mention), and I wanted to share her thoughts.

While eating at the kitchen counter, she was looking at a piece of mail that we had received from Compassion International. The pictures showed several children of varying ages who were obviously living in dire poverty. She studied the picture intently, asking questions and then growing quiet. Finally, with a sad look in her eyes, she started pointing to the children one by one, saying, "mom, it's so sad because THIS one, he could be a veterinarian. This tall boy might have been a basketball player. And she, mom, this little girl, she might have been able to be a doctor. But, they don't have a chance to do it!" I wish you could have seen the look in her eyes.

On another Princess of Hearts note, you can definitely see the adoration and happiness on her face as she "met" Nana and Papa's new dog, Rocco!!! It was true love at first sight!

Of Easter Bunnies and Santas.....

I don't have a photo for this one.

I just couldn't bear to pull out the Canon and snap it in the face of the little one, whose very belief system was hanging in the balance.

But you can probably picture it.

Just having discovered a small stash of Easter goodies in the back of a closet, Ellie walked slowly over to me, face reddening. Question marks flashed like lightning in her eyes.

"Mom," she asked in a measured voice, "Is.... there...."

"Is there..... really an Easter bunny?"

Tears tiptoed in her eyes.

I gave the standard, "what do you think, honey" response, but I knew that it was too far gone and that really, it was time.

Time.

Time for the Princess of Hearts to find out the truth. She has always had questions. But she stayed firm in her belief that fairies and bunnies and big jolly men and elves somehow existed in a parallel universe.

She has heard kids say that Santa is not real.

But Ellie still believed.

Until today. Once I gently nodded to her that yes, sweetie, your hunch is right... there is not a big bunny hopping around delivering presents to kids... or even a man in a Red Suit who flies on a sleigh loaded with gifts, a little quirky smile slowly arrived upon her face. The tears still brimmed, but I could see in her eyes that it was going to be OK.

Then, she broke the tension: "Next time, hide the presents better!"

Ha.

Just then, the phone rang. It was out-of-town Tom. Ellie answered. Their conversation went like this.

Ellie: Hello?
Dad: Hey girl! Whatcha doing?
Ellie: Well, I just asked mom if the Easter bunny is real.
Dad: Oh really? (pause) What did she say?
Ellie: Well dad..... (getting the timing just right) apparently........ he's not.
Tom: (laughing!)

That's my girl.

A Wise Gal

When Ellie was cast as a "wiseguy" in Fellowship Bible Church's musical focusing on the life of Daniel, we all had a good laugh.

Ellie has been a wise one ever since she's been a little bittle - always cracking us up with comments that seem way ahead of her time.

At 2 years, she would yell "privacia" at us when she wanted us to get out of the bathroom.
At 3, she described something as "smokin' hot."
At 4, when she was cold, she told us she was "freee-ee-ee-ee-zin her beak off" (a quote from the movie Ice Age, I think.)

And so it goes. She constantly says the funniest things and always nails the context of the comment perfectly.

(just wish I'd written some more down from when she was little!)

Definitely NOT a trait inherited from me. I am pretty slow and not witty whatsoever.

Anyway, she is a true delight to us and brings lots of light to our family.

But she was wise in a different way this time. During a basketball game at the state tournament, I found her making the beginnings of a list she called...

"100 things I want to do in my lifetime."

Here are the first Ten....Translation:
1) Go to a Harlem Globetrotter game.
2) Go to the Bahamas.
3) Meet a dolphin. (I just Love the word "meet" in that sentence).
4) Sky Dive
5) Be on a Major Soccer Team.
6) ME find my OWN arrowhead.
7) Go camping with my family only.
8) Go skiing.
9) Always agree with my family. (this one is a work in progress - not easy for the little, wise one)
10) See a baby tiger.

My prayer for the ever sharp Elle Belle?
Proverbs 3:7
That she will not be wise in her own eyes; that she will fear the LORD and shun evil.

This is What I Meant

Hang out with Ellie for about 5 minutes and you'll see what I meant when I said that she lives out loud.

Tonight @ Blockbuster-
She walks in wearing her Santa hat, safety goggles and a deadpan expression. Not trying to be funny; just being herself. She has an honest affinity for goggles of any kind.

What totally got me, though, was when she walked by the movie Step Brothers, and noticed the guy on the cover (Will Ferrell)... she declared with complete sincerity...(while still wearing her safety goggles and santa hat):














"This guy is the greatest actor of all time."

"What?" I asked "Him?"

"Oh yeah," she replied...
"He played Buddy in the movie Elf!"

Politicial Prodigy?

I try to keep my mouth shut when it comes to politics, but THIS I could not pass up.

Car talk today....

Ellie: Mom, is it true that McCain will just give us more of the same?

Mom: (after I recover from my surprise)
Not exactly Ellie... followed up by the best explanation I can give to 8 year old ears.

Ellie: Mom, is it true that Obama wants to take away our freedoms?

Mom: (after I again recover from my surprise)
Well, babe, not exactly... followed up by the best explanation I can possibly give her.

After a pause....and with a wistful inflection...
Ellie: I sure wish Honest Abe was still around.

Question of the Day

I have all these profound things I've been wanting to blog about, but today it comes down to this: The Question of the Day.

As we were driving someplace this afternoon, Luke asked me this question:

"Mom, did you know if you toot way down into the leather seat, it kind of burns?"

"No Luke... I didn't know that," I answered, truthfully.

"I know because I just did it," he replied matter-of-factly.

These boys. Gotta love 'em.

Monkey Business

Last night, we went to the state fair. Yes, it can be a bit on the diverse side. But going to the fair always provides for interesting moments.

This particular moment was provided by Luke, Ellie, and a man with a monkey.

As we were standing in line to buy our annual pork chop sandwiches, a man walked by who had a pet monkey. A small pet monkey who was riding on his shoulders. I don't know who the man was or if he worked there, but he just kind of loitered around the area for awhile, not necessarily trying to gain attention.

Well, attention he did get from my kiddos. They stood from afar, just staring at this spectacle. It was such a cute monkey, and I think he had some clothes and a hat on.

Then, Luke leaned over to me and whispered out of the side of his mouth (as not to let the man with the monkey hear him): "Mom.... does that man know that he has a monkey on his back?"

Before I could answer, Ellie rolled her eyes and responded with incredulity, "Luke, don't you know what he does? He is a MONKEY-TAMER." As though being a monkey tamer was just as common at a fair as a ride operator.

Priorities

This morning, Luke had no more stood up and wiped the sleep from his eyes when he reported urgently, "I have to throw up." Ugh, I thought. The truth was, it felt like I needed to throw up too. A vague feeling of nausea had turned into feeling like a brick was in my stomach and my day of errands was to be no more.

Instead, I spent the morning helping Luke with throw up target practice. He's still at that stage where he may or not make it to the toilet... and when there is (fairly) new carpet at stake, that doesn't go over well with Mama. I tried to talk to him about recognizing the feeling before it came, and how to make a beeline to the bathroom as NOT to throw up on the carpet. Even the wood floors were better than the carpet! I did have the emergency trash can available just in case. However, Luke didn't seem too impressed with my dissertation on why I didn't want to have to clean up chunks out of the frieze.

What did seem to grab his attention was when I opened up a Lego set that I had saved for a rainy day (or sick day !) I pulled all the shiny, new pieces out and he lovingly sorted them by color one by one. He then reported with determination, "mama... I will DEFINITELY NOT, I mean NO WAY will I even throw up on these legos. I will recognize that feeling and run to the bathroom, but I WILL not throw up on these Legos."

Priorities: for me, it's the carpet.... and him... well, the legos. Maybe I'll just sprinkle some legos on the carpet next time! For the record, no carpet or legos were harmed today.

One more funny (and a bit upsetting) thing... as he was throwing up this morning (the first time), he managed to ask between heaves: "Do I get to miss school today?" And tonight he said he would rather be sick than go to kindergarten. Yeah.... especially when you get to play with Legos.

Comfreshing

The other day, I read this darling post on one of my favorite blogs. Take a minute to read it cuz it's so sweet.

But it also points out how children are so insightful in their word creations and combinations.

Case in point: My kids eat fruit by the bushel. When I bring home a new type of fruit for them, they act like I bought them the latest and greatest new toy! I found champagne grapes at the store, and they were delighted. You would have thought I had brought home Guitar Hero. They ate the tiny and plump spheres ravenously as Luke declared with gusto, "Those grapes are so comfreshing." Comfortable and Refreshing they are. You should try 'em.

Subtle

We do the best of our parenting ability to keep our children from tearing each other to shreds. Thus, when one says something mean or spiteful to another, we immediately speak to that child and let him or her know that it is not acceptable in our family to taunt one another. It just isn't nice.

But we seem to have arrived at a new level of taunting. It is called making-fun-of-your-favorite-action-figure. And apparently, it is quite effective. I will leave out the names to protect the not so innocent.

While playing Mario Galaxy on the Wii...

Child E: Have you looked at Mario lately? Mario is fat.

Child L: What? (realizing what was said...) Whaaaaaaaaat? (loudly)

Child E: Yup. He's definitely fat. Look at that belly on him.

Child L: (mad) NO HE'S NOT. HE'S STRONG and HE EATS LOTS OF GOOD FOOD.

Child E: Yeah, lots of spaghetti and other fattening stuff. He's Italian you know. And look at those weird white gloves.

Child L: (getting madder) HE IS NOT FAT OR WEIRD!!!!

Child E: OH YES HE IS!

Child L: (furious) NO HE IS NOT. HE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE!! (pronounced FIG-R).

Child E: Ask anyone you know. Mario is definitely weird. And he wears overalls. Those are so out of style.

Child L: (wailing) MOM!!!!!! Tell Ellie to stop!!!!! I love Mario and she is making fun of him!!!!!! (tears running down the face)


Tell me I'm not the only one who is dealing with stuff like this?! What subtle ways do your children dig at each other, or did your brothers and sisters dig at you?

Unintended Insult

Luke (to mom as she was tucking him in one night):

Mom... come closer.

Sniff.

I want to smell you.

Sniff. Sniff.

Mom...

(what? she asks, feeling loved and adored)

Mom... you smell like asparagus.

You really smell like asparagus.

I Kid You Not

I must begin with this DISCLAIMER:

While I never condone outlandish behavior, I nevertheless embrace the Princess of Hearts and her offbeat personality. I am no fan of tattoos, piercings or the like (I have lots of friends with tattoos... who I adore... just isn't for me), and my posting of this subject is not meant to embolden her on this matter. However, I love my daughter dearly. I trust God with my daughter's life, and I believe with all my heart that he is leading and guiding her. She has a heart that is sensitive to his Will.... she cried in her bed at night for months because she wanted to be bap-uh-tized. Her words were "my heart is telling me to do something for God!" I think she cried because she hadn't followed through on it. All that to say that this daughter of mine just does and says some of the lovliest yet craziest things. Case in point:

Most of her friends have their ears pierced. Her sister's ears were pierced at 7 and recently, Hallie and Brooke had theirs pierced. People have been asking her about it, and she always kind of shrugs apologetically. She really doesn't want to do it . So, I thought I'd better back her up on that. I encouraged her one day: "Honey, if you never get your ears pierced, that is just fine with me! Mommy doesn't care if you do or don't. I think you will be beautiful either way." Without missing a beat, she looked up at me with her piercing blue gray eyes and said dryly, "so what would you think if I got my lip pierced? What would you think if I got my nose pierced?" At least she asked me what I would think about it, but at that point I didn't know what to say! Do I freak out and scream "NO WAY?" or say "Yeah, cool?" I chose to just brush it off and pray for the best... that was until I found her with a nose piercing! See below! It turned out to be a little, silver, sticky, scrapbooking charm that she thought would look just perfect decorating her nose.

SPectacular

The last couple weeks, Luke has been talking about his collection.

Not just any old collection. You might expect a boy his age to have a grubby old rock collection or a toy car collection. (Well, he does have 3 tubs full of cars, so technically, I guess that does qualify for a car collection.)

Nope. None of the above. What Luke has been talking about is his collection of words, specifically -sp words.

Here are some of the words in his collection:
Spiderman (the first -sp word in his collection)
Splash (oh, that's a good one, he said)
Speed (complete with the vrroom vroom noises that cars make)
Sprite (and it goes on and on......)
Sport
Spy
Spot
Spin
Space
Spark
Spaghetti
Spray
and his favorite -sp word in his collection:
Spit

I know, you think that I, his English-teaching mother have been coaxing him to love letters and words much like a Coach-father may encourage one to enjoy sports. But beyond reading books, I can't take credit for this one. It's just a SPecial Luke thing.

One -sp word I know he does not have in his collection: Spanking.

Let's Get Spiritual

Today, I was driving Luke and his friend Liam home. I was so proud to overhear their conversation.

Luke: Let's buckle in on each side of the car, you on the left, me on the right. And in the middle, let's buckle in Jesus.

Liam: Yes, God will sit there. He is invisible.

Luke: I know, but He is with you wherever you go.

(At this point I am feeling quite proud. All those prayers, all that careful teaching. It is finally paying off. He's getting it!)

The conversation continues

Liam: Jesus is right beside us.

Luke: He loves us.

Liam: He can see anything you do.

Luke: He has a lot of eyes. 22 of them.

Liam: Yeah, you're right.

Luke: Hey, Liam, (long pause) wouldn't it be cool if God is an ALIEN?

Both boys laugh hysterically and punch each other.

I wince and determine I will do more spiritual teaching.

Mommas Love Their Babies

I love being a mom. I mean, I really, really do. It is the best thing I have ever done in my whole life. The hardest thing. The most humbling thing. The most maddening thing. At times, I literally feel like banging my head against a wall. It can be a gut-twisting, eye-squinshing, heart-squeezing experience that tests my patience to levels I heretofore have never known. I realize that to make it through, I absolutely MUST rely on a higher power. I CANNOT DO IT OF MY OWN STRENGTH.

But at the end of the day, being a mom is sweetest, most funnest thing ever <(I know, not proper English there. It was just for emphasis). I've been thinking lately about how it's really a blast to be a mom. And to be able to introduce my kids to new things. Teach them about their surroundings. Help them look at life through the right lens. Give them tools for living. Pray for them. And hopefully, make them proud that I am their mom. (though I probably embarrass them - I have a weird habit of singing and dancing when their friends come over.)

When you really, really think about it... being a mom is an amazing privilege. Being able to significantly shape the very life of 3 human beings. Wo, that's heavy. And that's a lot of pressure. But again, I remind myself that He (the God of Heaven and Earth) will give me wisdom and strength if I will just simply ask. He will give it to me. I hang onto that truth. And hopefully he will also give me ESP during those teenage years. (I am totally serious about that.)

These three paragraphs were just a veiled apology for what I am about to say next: I am posting about Luke. Again. I just can't help it. I tried not to post about this incident. It happened a few days ago. It is really not that big a deal. It is not like I am thinking that he is some whiz-kid. Four year olds say stuff like this all the time. They are all so inquisitive. But to me, this moment is fantastic, and I don't want to forget it. Because not only can I hear the words I am about to post, but I can see the burning wonder in his eyes. I can remember how he licked his lips as he asked this question, something he always does when he is thinking about adult stuff. So now that I've built it up so big, I will share it. I call it "Perplexed."

We are in the car. I guess he has a lot of time to think in the car. He is strapped in. He has nowhere to go. So, he thinks.

"Mom, the road that we are driving on is flat, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, when you go in outerspace and you look at the world, it is round, right?"

"Yes."

Long pause.

(incredulous) "WELL, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?"

The Duke of Rough and Tough Has a Girlfriend

Let me just start by saying that I am sorry for all the Luke posts lately. I don't mean to focus on him any more than our other wonderful kids, but he is just at that age that everything he says and does is so darn funny. I could write 10 posts a day about him right now. But, ok, I'll limit myself to one a day.

Today, when I picked him up from school, he offered singsongily, "I have a girlfriend; her name is Emma." Kami, Ellie and I hadn't heard as much about Emma as we had Elly and Abby. So, we asked the obvious question... "Luke... we thought Elly and Abby were your girlfriends..?...?"

He quickly replied, "No I cracked up with them."

So, how do you learn to crack up (break up) with a girl when you are only 4 years old? We all cracked up when he said it, and I have a feeling he may be a real heart cracker when he grows up! ;)

Now With More Gusto

Those of you who have read this blog know that I always talk about the gusto with which Luke approaches life.

I just loved his gusto-filled comment today: "I'd like to dip the world in ketchup and take a bite."

I know... you're thinking I misunderstood him. Surely, he said he'd like to dip his fries in ketchup. That's what kids LOVE to do. Dip their fries.

I do have one ear that squeaks more than it should, but No, I didn't misunderstand him. Because it all started with his discussion of the massive and varied list of ketchup-worthy items. Mac and cheese. Waffles. Olives. Mommy. Our House. The World.

Coming soon: Luke's Breakdancing Chronicles

Santa Claus Isn't Coming to Town

He's already here. That according to Miss Tell-It-Like-It-Is, Ellie. She did enjoy sitting on his lap and telling him what she wanted for Christmas (an obnoxious Fur Real Parrot ), but when I asked her later what she thought of Santa, she off-handedly said in her low voice, "Well, I don't think Santa is going to get me what I really want." I questioned, "why, you told him what you wanted, didn't you?" She said, "I think he was just a Santa Clone."

Not So Easy to Answer....

(Click on the picture to enlarge and read questions)