Wednesday, February 11, 2009

What's the Lesson?

Things seem to be happening in my life that are right along the same theme.

The theme of Loser Mom.

And I am looking hard for the lesson.

***With 4 kids in tow (my 3 and a friend) and running on fumes (this was day 5 of Tom being out of town), I decided to take my kids to a church activity. Remember, we are going to a new church, trying to meet people, etc. We were to decorate the doors of the residents at a nursing home and then go bowling. Everything was fine until I stepped away from the group for a few minutes to retrieve some more valentines from the office. I left Luke behind with the other moms, which looking back was so amazingly dumb of me. He is a wild 5 year old boy. Sometime while I was gone, another mom of a kindergarten boy decided that she did not like Luke or his antics (he IS wild), and began telling him to calm down. Telling Luke to calm down is like telling the sun to stop rising. Things went from bad to worse and my hopeful good first impression went down the drain. Needless to say, we did not go bowling, and I cried the whole way home.

***Remember the coach who saw me forget both Ellie's and Luke's picture days? Well, last night, it got worse. I dropped Ellie at practice and ran over to Hobby Lobby to work on a couple of looming projects. Being EXTREMELY aware of the time, I was done and ready to head back with 10 minutes to spare (practice was only a 45 second drive away). That's when my phone rang. It was the coach. He said, "hey, practice is over, where are you?" This cannot be happening!!!! I guess they just ended practice early and that I shouldn't have cut it so close. My embarrassment factor is off the charts. I swear, I think I look like I am on drugs or something.

These are just two examples in my life that I would classify under "Loser Mom."

I KNOW I am NOT a loser mom (not looking for sympathy), but I just hate making these impressions on people. I feel like I am being unfairly judged. I just want to jump up and down and yell, "I am a responsible mom! I work very hard to discipline my children! I take care of details! I am really quite organized!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!" But then I really WOULD be a loser mom, now wouldn't I.

I am looking for a lesson....

Could it be to....
1) try harder and think deeper? could be.

2) realize that i am going to make mistakes? that's already been proven.

3) slow down? well, uh, yeah.

All these have gone through my mind. But what I keep coming back to is this:
I need to care less what people think.

The Lord knows my heart. He knows how I parent.
Darnit, HE Himself gives me the measure of strength and energy to make it through each day.
And if I'm being unfairly judged, well, God knows that too.

and maybe, just maybe, He's telling me this...

that when I notice a MOM in a sticky situation, I can do this:
judge less and reach out more. GIVE MORE GRACE.

It just might make her day. (thanks
Amanda for making mine yesterday.)

15 Wonderful Responses:

Lazy Mom Amanda said...

When I am feeling judged, I try to remember that Christ was judged much more unfairly than I ever will be. Can you imagine how that must have felt. He did NOTHING and people spat on him, ripped his clothes and hung him on a cross.

You are a GREAT mom and we all go through times like this. Deep breaths, and remember, this too shall pass!

Love you!

♥georgie♥ said...

Boy I know about the whole feeling judged thing...Thats a hard one to allow ourselves to let go of...

this is what i tell myself...
I say 'self you are falable'
then i say 'self go eat some chocolate covered strawberries'

well it works for me...

You are a GREAT mom...I can't count how many times i forgotten someone/ point we are all human...

Dawn said...

Oh, Annie, I can really relate to this right now.

I know that feeling well. It stinks.

I feel just horrible you cried all the way home.

If you've not read the book called Wild at Heart you MUST read it. It will help you understand your Luke a little better. :)

I think you are an awesome mom and woman. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Michelle said...

I totally know how you feel and how hard it is juggling kids and everything. I have felt several times this week like "melting down".
You really shouldn't feel bad.
You are a wonderful mom and anyone who has a child should know how 5 year old boys can be. I speak from experience.
I wrote earlier this week about what a horrible day I was having and sometimes it just feels good to get it out.
I hope tomorrow is better for you. :)

Amber said...

Hi Annie, you know, there are going to be plenty of days where things just dont seem to go right, but you arent a loser mom! We all have those days where we feel like we have no idea what we're doing, but we know its wrong. If other people dont understand that sometimes kids are wild and sometimes not on their best behavior, then they must not have kids, or else they must have been in another world when theirs acted that way. Just keep your head up and remember to pray before doing activities like that with your kids, that things will go smooth. It sure makes a difference!!!! (((hugs)))

Valerie said...

Surely every mom feels like a loser mom at some point or another. I know I've been there, after the umpteenth time of Henry biting or scratching or maiming somebody in some way, despite the fact that we are way more disciplinarians than most parents. You just have to remember that even those other moms, the ones who have been/will be mean to you throughout your life at times, they've all surely been on the same end as you of being judged as well, even if they never let you know that. I'm the queen of caring about what people think although I wish I wasn't, so your own advice of only looking at what the Lord thinks of you, that sounds the best to me.

Shannon said...

I think moms who have traveling husbands have a special reward waiting for them in Heaven, don't you? God knows what we go through. YOU are a wonderful Mom, Annie.

momof4kr said...

I was JUST thinking earlier today that one quality that I absolutely love for people to have is GRACE. Don't ya just love when you have friends or family that love you no matter what? They just get you...they know your heart. Because I love this trait so much in others, I certainly need to strive to have this for them in return.
You can count on me to have GRACE on you my sweet friend...

Baloney said...

Oh BELIEVE me - we've all been there. With Michael I was judged all of the time by people who didn't understand his "issues". With Jacob - well... he's just Jacob.
It is hard not to worry what others are thinking, but maybe you should think that this other mom has bigger issues.
If she can't be nice to a visitor at a church event then when can she?
I agree with Shannon - I'm so thankful that Doc's job keeps him home every night. Being a single parent sometimes would be hard work.

Anonymous said...

i love you ann(i)e! i have always admired you...

bless you.

4 Lettre Words said...

When it rains, it pours, huh!?!

Hope tomorrow is a great day!

Kathleen said...

Annie, Annie! You are NOT a loser mom! I haven't had a moment to get to the blogs in the last day. I see you posted this yesterday. I hope and pray that today gave you new perspective and a feeling of new beginnings! I so know how you feel, though! I'm still working on my mom post that you tagged me on...I'm so with you on these parenting issues! I even have my own Upwards photo story (I won't share the details since you pretty much already know it from experience). Oy! Let's just keep remembering we are fallible gals who, thankfully, are saved by the grace of God! Blessings, Kathleen

Kim said...

Sweet, friend. Pick another pair of sunglasses to wear. It’s hard to let go of unfortunate happenings in our life. Those awful moments don’t define us. Your sunglasses need to be cleaned or changed all together…because your seeing boogers, snot and left over grease from a bag of chips.

steffj89 said...

I so feel you girl!! I have two "luke's" They are 5 next month and 6 in June.
They have their moments, of peace and calm and clarity few and far between and I sooooo feel the judging eyes.
Finding a new church is always hard and there will always be those eyes, but the right church the nonjudging eyes will be far more prevalent and you will know it.

There are other moms who are right there with you.
I remembered soccer pictures only to forget 4 of the SCHEDULED games after getting emails that they were going to be that week....(5 y/o soccer and being sooo pregnant is what I blame) one of the games i missed was my week to take snacks...go mom
the thing i try to remember on a daily basis is that we mess up and God still loves us the same way as our kids mess up and we still love them....
big hugs coming your way!!

Rena Gunther said...


First, I just feel left out...pout,'re going to a new church? Wait, you may have mentioned this in an email...

Or maybe "somebody" needs to get back in the loop...I'm catching up.

Oh, Annie! I so understand that feeling. You know, I even considered not long ago doing an interview with "That Mama". I mean, I've never thought of us as "THAT family"...but in many ways I've been knocked off my pedestal.

At the same time, I know what it's like to be in one of those moments....YUK...Courtney's coach seemed to keep them over all the time. But you would know, those time I was a bit later and trusting that they would be running over as usual...they'd get out EARLY! Not on time. EARLY! SOOO embarrassing. YUK! Sophie, well, she just broke the mold...

Today in Walmart she told ME and COURTNEY for NO apparent reason and rather loudly, "Y'ALL BE-HAVE! JUST BE-HAVE!" All the while she waved her hand at us like she was the parent.

YIKES....I understand the feelings that can overwhelm you when you don't feel like your measuring up.

THANK GOD HIS strength is made PERFECT in our weaknesses!

If you're like me, you have LOTS of His perfect srength going on! ;)

Miss you....