Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Feels Like I'm Leaving Eden

Ok. Maybe I'm overemotional. That's a given.

But as I sit and face the new life that awaits us in Carbondale, Illinois,

a new and exciting job for Tom, associate head coach at Southern Illinois University with Barry Hinson....
(thank you Barry for believing in my husband)

I just cannot part with the old. It seems like the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Say goodbye to family and friends and schools and churches and jobs our home and the

only place our kids have ever known. Say goodbye to LOVE.

Do I really have to do this Lord?

Little images float through my mind, tiny scenes from the past.....

Every moment that matters has been here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. How do I pick up and leave that behind? Why would you want me to? And a prayer comes to my soul....

Father, Grant me the strength to do what I never wanted to.
Help us to shine your name wherever we go.
Be near to us oh God as we make more changes
than we ever really thought we would have to make.
Orchestrate each and every detail!
May we be a blessing to Southern Illinois University...
and God... have mercy on me in my sadness...
turn it to gladness, for my husband,
for my children and for a new faith-filled adventure.

Oh Lord.... it does feel like I'm leaving Eden.
Feels like I'm leaving Eden
Feels like I'm leaving Eden, oh
It's like I'm further away with every step I take
And I can't go back 'cause I'm leaving Eden

12 Wonderful Responses:

Helen said...

Oh, Annie, I know there's sadness in it but you all are ready for all that awaits! What about singing instead of "Feels like I'm leaving Eden" --
"All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong." (At least when you get to Carbondale! :)) I'm so happy for you all and I can't wait to hear about how God uses the Hankins in Illinois. In this world of technology, think how much simpler it will be to stay in touch! Hang in there through all the emotions. I know it will not be easy. Love to you and your family.

ellen said...

Annie, You are truly a woman of God's grace. Your words always inspire me to be a better person. I'll being praying you though this transition. (and even more thankful for may 3rd now!)

(and I have a feeling that prayer is going to spread like wildfire...just like the serenity prayer!)

Hugs sweet one...

Amanda said...

Girl, you KNOW I know what you are feeling. It will be great, it will be awful. It will be happy and it will be sad. Try to enjoy this journey for what it is...a journey. I look back now and realize I missed out on so much potential happiness because I stayed in my unhappiness. Praying for you!

Leslie Claire Lee said...

Hi ANNIE! I wish I could hug your neck and look in your eyes and cry with you. I have felt a similar grief in moving to Colorado back to Oklahoma and then to North Carolina. But, I will say, I have done things I would not have done otherwise and touched lives I would have never known. Sometimes painfully, I learned how to lean on God in deeper ways than ever before. Amazingly, I have found at every turn, God made the way and prepared too many details to count and surprised me with more than I needed - more than I thought would be there. He won't fail you and His love never runs out! I love you and pray for God to bless you with His mercy. Love your post - really beautiful.

Catherine Zoller said...

First of all: Congratulations! Tom has worked hard to achieve his dreams and I know that in the midst of the bittersweetness you are very proud of him.

Moving is always hard. Especially when you are as entrenched in a place as you are in Tulsa. The first year will be hard, but your children will open doors for friendships that at some point you couldn't imagine not having.

And by the way, just for the record, Tulsa is NOT Eden! All the best to you and your sweet family!

Penny said...

I KNOW how hard it is to leave your family and everything that is comfortable to you. Obviously the Lord needs you elsewhere:) and I KNOW you will thrive and fall in love with a whole new life. I remember the tears and the sadness when we left Tulsa, but we LOVE our new life and our new friends and our new church...nothing has been replaced, but just added to:) Pardon the girl scout song...Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold :) xoxo I know you will be missed in T-Town!

Valerie said...

Girlie, what an adventure! My husband is from Chicago, and Illinois is not such a bad spot to end up in. ;) And it's a great location -- close enough for fun weekends in Chicago, and a day's drive back to good ol' Oklahoma. Your sweet family will be in my thoughts and prayers, but I'll be excited to hear about the new adventures that await you all up north! :)

Chris Smoot said...

Anne, It is a door opening. Would you email me your and your moms cell nrs so's we can talk. I lost all my emails and phone nrs when I left verizon to go to Panama.
cell 469-230-0780

Chris Smoot said...

Oops, forgot my email. chrissmoot1@gmail.com

momof4kr said...

Can't imagine Jenks without your sweet presence.
Sad to not have Luke & Ella be in class together three years in a row.
Grieving all the heartache you are feeling right now.
On the other hand...
Can't wait to see what God has in store for you and your family (Jeremiah 29:11)
Glad that we have awesome technology to keep in touch
Excited for God to do a Mighty Work! It's hard to be a part of his awesome, eternal plan when we are stuck in our comfort zone.
Much Love & Prayers, Katie

Anonymous said...

Annie, I'm so glad to hear that you will now be my "neighbor" in Illinois. I am praying for you to find the peace and joy in your heart as you make this move...best wishes to you and your family!

@nnie said...

Wondering which neighbor you are?? Nancy? Sherri? Tammy?