Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Has Anyone Ever Said These Things to You?

"Gee, the productivity in your husband's business has really gone to pot!"

"Tomorrow, I think your husband should fire his colleague and go out and find someone who can really do the job!!!"

"It's going to be a really hard year for you and your husband! His effectiveness has taken a major turn for the worse."

"The employees of your husband's business are rude!"

Or my favorite-
"I really hope that the competitors beat the heck out of your husband's business tonight!!!!!"

Of course not! No! People don't do that kind of thing. Unless they are a social moron OR your husband happens to be a coach.
You'd think after 10+ years in the business, I'd get used to it. But maybe I never will.

Since my husband makes his living coaching a GAME that people are able to watch, I guess that people think it's just fine to make whatever stupid comment comes into their minds.

You know, I've heard that if you can't take the heat, then stay out of the kitchen.

And I have 2 problems with that.

#1 - I had no choice in this. God gave me this man, and He gave Tom this job, and I am here faithfully believing that He is going to bless us. Even when the point guard screws up. Even when we didn't land that top recruit. Even when we have a 5 game losing streak. He is with us, and He has a purpose for us. And YES, He cares about basketball games, even though people tell me He does not.

#2 - There is something called politeness. Your husband's job is very important to you. My husband's job is very important to me. I won't make dire predictions about what is going to happen to your husband's job and you don't do the same to me. I will sincerely wish you and your husband the best when it comes to his job. I'm hoping for a promotion for you, not that he gets beat out by the others (even if I happen to know the others and like them very well.)

You know, I try to tread lightly. I try not to be easily offended because in my heart, I think people just really don't get it. They have an opinion on every other game on TV, so why not have an opinion on my husband's game? And for the most part, I move on through life thankful for where God has put us and thankful for the friends (they are precious to me!) He has put in our lives who do understand and are sensitive to our situation. Some friends even put away their colors and wear ours for a game! Wow!

But at the most recent game pictured above (THAT WE LOST, by the way,) I had one "friend" walk up to me wearing opposing colors and begin complaining about the 30 person cheering section for our team: "They are so loud and rude!" And then another one, who at half time, thought he would come tell me how bad our team looked: "You guys are looking pretty terrible so far."

Maybe it's just that I'm approaching 40 or something, but it didn't slide off my back this time.

What about common courtesy?

That felt good. Thanks for letting me vent. It's been comin' on for oh, about 10 years. :)

10 Wonderful Responses:

Kathleen said...

You are KIDDING!! I cannot fathom treating someone the way you and Coach have been treated! Bless you for enduring it! I'll wear your colors!

Amber said...

Wow! I dont think I could deal with that, probably why God didnt put me in that position! Maybe all those rude mouths will read your blog and then start thinking before speaking!

Roxanne Kristina said...

I completely hear you. My husband and I both played college ball - some of the things from the stands, alumni, community, put on the coaches would be considered unacceptable in other professions. Likewise when I was teaching fulltime, when parents offered unrequested "advice" I would always say in my head, "Would we come to your office and say those things to you?" Geessh! Hang in there. Unless you invite someone to back seat coach, remember it is hot air. Your perspective and giving to God is right on. Very healthy approach.

Annie said...

Well, maybe I spoke too harshly, out of frustration. Because I truly believe that 98% people don't mean anything by it. And I do understand that people are sometimes more loyal to their own sports teams than anything else in life. I think it's just a coaching fact of life... it's just that I had to get it off my chest. It felt good to say that after 10 years of not saying it. Thanks for listening and sympathizing!

Dawn said...

Oh, it does feel goooood to get stuff out in the open.

I'm sorry for the hurtful words you've had to endure all these years. I agree with you, people sometimes just DON'T think before they speak.

It can't be everyone's winning season at the same time. Here's to looking forward and NOT back!

ASHLEY said...

preach on sister. you. are. correct. if it's any consolation, there is a definite distinguishing quality between your husband, your sister's husband and many others who do what they do. stand tall and proud and know that you help make the man who stands before so many, guiding those young men in a few short years of their lives that they will most assuredly look back upon with fondness. your men ROCK the world they walk in. win or lose. blessings!

ASHLEY said...

cool tie, by the way.

Anonymous said...

wow !! I GOTTA YELL THIS H TO THE DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS!! JUST SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE. YOU GO ANNIE FANNIE YOU GOTTA BOX GIRL AND I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YA! I FEEL YA!! YOU KNOW I DO UMH THIS IS HOW I SURVIVE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I APPRECIATE THAT COMMENT I CAN REALLY APPRECIATE IT THAT CAN YOU HEAR ME HELLO !1 HELLO !! I'M YELLING , IM SCREAMING ANYONE THERE!!. LOVE YA ANNIE

YOU KNOW WHO!!

NW

Tracey said...

Annie, I am sorry that sometimes people's school-spiritedness (for lack of better term) can be mean and hurtful. Especially to a very wonderful and loving woman like yourself. I know it is hard to always be positive, but sometimes people don't necessarily mean it in a personal way when they say things like, "I hope the ____ beat the ____" (insert mascots as appropriate)

I hope that I didn't offend you with what I said in my blog. I watch your brother-n-law and husband with the kids and the family and they are the sweetest, kindest, most gentle guys I know! Then I see them on the court and I think, wow they look MAD and kinda scary!!! I can't even imagine EITHER guy being mad at anyone!!!!

I was rather impressed with the student section that represented your school when they played against "us" at the Mayors Cup last week. They were louder and more supportive than the TU students!

I tried to catch up to you, Kimbo, and Kami after the game but the three of you were too fast for us!!!

ellen said...

Sometimes there are just no words for what other people say! Not that it takes away the feelings associated with the hurtful remarks, but here is a little gem that has always stuck with me... You should only value the opinion of those whose opinions you value.