Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Motherhood 101

When I look at brand new moms these days, they look like babies themselves. Am I the only one who has noticed this??? It makes me wonder ...was I really that young when I had my first child? Just thinkin' I was ever so grown up, but in truth, still such a baby....??? Well, at 29, I wasn't exactly a spring chicken, but looking at pictures.... yeah... I was young.

It reminds me exactly how much I have grown. Yes, older, but more than that, as a person....as a mother.

I was tagged by Dawn from Dawn's Diversions to blog about some lessons from motherhood.... so first, I thank her for choosing me!!!...because I have spent the last few days really wrestling with this topic.... when I wouldn't have otherwise. I have gone round and round with myself in my mind thinking of lessons I've learned:

*The simple: Love your children but don't smother them
*The medical: The miracle of Mylicon
*The embarrassing: Your children will repeat anything you say!
*The practical: Establish a great bedtime routine
*The emotional: Sometimes, Moms need timeouts too.
*The boy lessons: Boys will be boys, so let 'em!
*The girl lessons: Girls will be girls, so watch out!
*The lesson my mom taught me: Love, and when you get tired, love some more.
*The lesson my Granny taught me: This world is not our home. Let your kids know it

But the most significant lesson I've learned may be this one:

God has given me these child to raise. They are just on loan! They belong to Him... they are his precious creation that He trusted me with.

It is a hard one to learn.

At some point while the kids were young, I became fearful... I mean really, deeply fearful about their well being and future. I have worried painfully about everything from making the soccer team to being in class with the right people. I obsessed over molluscums and when in the heck they would go away. I worried if I was giving him the right medicine? Too much, not enough? Is she growing properly? Am I stunting her growth? What about those wild eye brows? Will she be made fun of because of that? How many words is she supposed to say at one year? Omigoodness, she's not even close! And this list could drone on and on forever and go into much darker areas.

Now, as a mom, I am on detail patrol, and that's how God made us moms. It's when we get too focused on these issues and/or we try to control them that I learned it becomes a problem.

Two things that have made a difference for me....

1) God has given me these children to raise. And at the end of the day, they are all His. And there is great freedom in that understanding. I could put my children on house arrest to protect them from the outside world, but is that really what is right for them? I have to trust God to watch over them physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I will always pray that prayer for them, and will try to step back and turn their little lives over to a great big God who loves them far more than I can even imagine.

2) I can read book after book and consult expert after expert, but God is the giver of true wisdom. I simply cannot do this job without him. I may think I can, but I soon learn, that NO, I need Him to give me energy, strength, wisdom, and help in general.

The funny thing is that when I am really living in these truths is when one of my kiddos will start going through a hard time and I'm like... why God? One time, after seeing Kami at lunch with her "friends" (they weren't very nice to her), I came home and sobbed my eyes out for 2 hours. I am not kidding. But I realize that God is molding and shaping her too. My impulse is to protect her from the pain, but I see that I shouldn't deprive her of the lesson, and I thank God that He is teaching her.

There is nothing in the world like being a mom. It is my favorite thing I have ever done. Even on days like this when I get MORE emails about my son, I have to give it to Him. In fact, this is a perfect day to do it. God, this is YOUR boy! You made him headstrong and full of life. You take this child and mold him. You change the parts of his heart that need changing. Now, I'm going to close my eyes and get a good night's sleep.

Oh yeah, I am tagging a few fellow bloggers now....

Amanda @ Herrold Collection because she is such a faithful blogger...

Michelle @ The Froggy Bottom Blog because I have enjoyed reading her blog...

and Traci @ Something Singapore because I miss her!

What to do: share with us and your readers a lesson that you learned from your own mom, a special mom in your life, or while raising your own children. There’s no right or wrong answer ….just lessons that each of us can learn and implement with our own children. It can be very simple!!! Link your post back to this blog, leave a comment below so we can visit and learn from you, and then tag 2-3 other moms to participate. (if you are not up to this right now, just let me know and I will pass it on to someone else!)

4 Wonderful Responses:

Dawn said...

Great words!

I was 29 when I had my first one as well.

Courtney also has wild eyebrows and I worry about her getting teased.

You are right. They are God's children and He will take care of them AND us!

Thanks for racking your brain for this - it was worth it! :)

Audra Krell said...

I was one of the babies having babies, I was 22 when I had my oldest boy. This is such a great post. I too, have died a thousand deaths over one of my boy's molloscum and just knew I was the only mom in the world dealing with it. I've cried buckets of tears and tried to control things to the point where I was unable to be a part of the adventure of daily life. They do belong to Him and that actually relieves me of the heavy burden I place on myself. Thanks again for a wonderful post!

Catherine Zoller said...

When my children were little, I always said, "My job as a mom is to work myself out of a job." And with (and only) by God's grace, I did.
My kids can all make a menu for the week, shop for the groceries based on the menu and cook well enough to survive. They can all separate and wash their clothes, fill out a job application, hold a job, establish a savings account, buy a car, pay for their insurance, balance a check book, plant tomatoes, bake bread, find what they need in the phone book, iron their clothes, clean a toilet, wrap a package, write a convincing thank you note, console a friend and talk to those both oler and younger than themsleves with ease.
But much more importantly, they have learned the essential nature of a consistant prayer time, that God is their source, that He answeres prayers, that He means what He says, that He honors the tithe and that no prayer is too unimportant to be heard.
I know this sounds bragidocious, and I really don't mean for it to, because it has not come without the tears and trials of life! This has just given me a moment to refelct on the good that God has wrought out of the trials, pain, joy and frustration of raising children from the perspective of having already done it! And from the perspecive of having one with Him, for nealry four years now, and knowing I wasn't perfect, but I loved deeply, did my best, and God filled in all the gaps and made the difference.
Where I was weak, He was stong. Where I failed, He picked up the slack. If not for Him, this would be a much different comment!

steffj89 said...

Considering that I had babysat for 10 years and was a live in nanny for five I was totally positive at 31 having my first child that I would never have a problem...I knew what I was getting into...I was going to be the best mom ever and I was NEVER going to yell at my kids like my parents did....
Oh lord was I in for a RUDE AWAKENING. Yes the initial baby stuff did come easily enough and where many of my friends needed help in the first months I was fine...I did ok right up till it came to setting limits and rules and following thru with them as he began to grow and develop a personality....then somehow I failed miserably...flailing around like a fish out of water. Though it seemed sometimes I needed to set the rules more for my husband than the baby....
6 years later I think I am finally getting back on track with he and his brother and hopefully i have it together much better when our latest edition arrives in December.